228

A Facebook status that was too long…

“Before the uprisings in Egypt and Libya, Facebook, and mass media, the people of Taiwan demanded justice from their ruling party, the KMT, and were met with machine guns on February 28, 1947.  It’s estimated that at least 10,000 people were killed but could be as high as 30,000.  But, we will never know the true number because for the next 40 years, Taiwan would come under martial law.  People were imprisoned, killed, and suppressed to prevent people from speaking out or organize.  The 228 Incident is probably one of the biggest tragedies you never heard of.

Taiwan’s democracy is about as young, desperate, and unrecognized as a college graduate.  Hundreds of thousands of people have suffered first hand for it and an island of tens of millions have waited longer than it has had it.  What will it take for you to recognize Taiwan?”

Lunar New Years Resolution

DISCLAIMER:
Yes, I know this sounds very Asian and it was definitely not my intention to. For the first time, I actually wanted to do a New Year’s Resolution but of course I got lazy and here we are in February. I figure if I was this late on writing my resolutions… I probably need a curve/buffer to complete them in time. So Lunar New Year will be the finish line and the “real” New Year’s will signal the final stretch.

Resolutions
1. Let go and enjoy life
Too many times I let things bog me down and let things get in the way of just simply living and enjoying life. That comes to an end this year.

2. Putting myself out there and meeting new people
I’m not all that social. I hide in quiet corners whether it’s at home or at a party. I need to make the most of my limited socializing opportunities since I’m stuck in the pharmacy with no one my age.

3. Start the bucket list
This pretty much ties in with #1 and enjoying life. It’s very easy for me to do the same thing every day and never venture out to do something new and exciting. I’m very used to chilling at home, going out to see a movie, surf on the web for a couple hours, go to karate 2 days out of the week, go to AC way too many times….you get the picture.

4. Blog more
A very common resolution for bloggers. I find it especially difficult to talk about my life on the web. For me it takes some serious material, self-reflection and editing time… But it forces me to see things outside of my own perception and give me a broader few of things…which I kind of honestly need.

Bucket List for 2011 and beyond (to be edited constantly)
1. Skydiving
Alright, I cheated it a little bit…I already did this one early this year. But having done it sort of sparked this motivation to create my bucket list and “completing” it.

2. Run a marathon
This year I’ll be turning 25. By the time it becomes the Year of the Tiger again, I will be 36 and everyone knows your body will be exponentially worse by then. Probably got a good couple years left in this body to do what I want with it…so I’m gonna push it while I can.

3. Snowboarding – Learn to ride “regular” by the end of winter
Snowboarding…weather has brought a lot of snow but with work and bad weather mixed in. I haven’t gone out as much as I wanted. Time to make use of my season pass before it’s over which it will be very soon…

4. Make an awesome marinara sauce.
I’m a total pizzeria food fanatic only because marinara sauce is so delicious…I need to learn how to make my own so I give restaurants all my money.

5. Build my own awesome PC
Already well within finishing distance.

6. Go on a date
Sad but true. Never went on a date. Damn it.

7… I’m sure I’ll think of something.

Journey Man

My All You Can Jet marathon is nearly upon me.  The new blog I created (15.cities.wordpress.com)  is more about documenting my adventures.  But my self-reflections will remain here.

After coming back from my summer, I still felt somewhat unsatisfied with the thought of working and getting thrown in the working machine.   I had no idea when I wanted to start working and staying at home wasn’t really helping with my decision.  I just simply wasn’t ready and was left in limbo.  The AYCJ pass was a God-sent.  As a I prepare to jet off, I realize that this will be last hurrah and I will be ready to work after this.  Just planning for this trip alone was exhausting and I know by the end of my adventure, any part of me that wasn’t ready to move on with my life will be quenched.  I’ll be out and about seeing lots of family, friends, and having lots of fun.  I’m hoping for rejuvenation of my spirit through an epic adventure and a period of true self-reflection.

15 Cities in 30 Days

New blog for my upcoming trip!  Pictures and trip reports Hopefully, if I’m not too busy)

http://15cities.wordpress.com/

(still under-construction)

It’s the little things

When it comes to being a leader, I didn’t want to lose connections with those around me.  I try not to act serious, although my thoughts are.  I try to be a part of the group although it’s difficult at times to feel like I am or should be.  I try to be the kind of leader that everyone can count on.  The one that’s always there if you need help.  The one that goes the extra mile.  The one that does the work so that others don’t burn out.  The one that bears the suffering.

I may not always be right or make the correct decisions.  But I always listen and try to make the most of what I can offer.  I try to be as humble as a leader can be although it may diminish my authority.  I know I am a big part of what TANG is but I do my best to make it appear as if I’m not.  The last thing I want is to get more credit than I deserve.  But I do this to an unhealthy point of where I feel unappreciated.  I believe the real and worthwhile work is done by the program directors and counselors.  That’s why I always try to have some kind of role with a specific program (mostly Junior High, this year Juniors).  Doing logistics and making sure things run smoothly isn’t exactly what I find to be emotionally fulfilling at times.

I was so happy to have my 8 year old cousin Ethan be a part of the TANG program in our first year of the Juniors Program.  My love for TANG has always been sort of unclear to those around me, even family.  I was so happy to be able to share TANG with someone so close to me .  Ethan loves me as much as a nephew (but really a cousin) can love an uncle (but really a cousin) and vice versa.  He couldn’t wait to spend the weekend with me.  Ethan has never seen me in this type of setting.  Ethan knows me as the cool uncle who at one time liked the same things at his age and who likes to play with him but only gets to see me twice a year which is not enough.

All this weekend, I just wanted to play and share with him my love for TANG.  After the camp, my parents told me via Ethan’s parents that Ethan would proudly say, “My uncle is Thomas Yu.  My uncle is Thomas Yu.” I was shocked… flabbergasted.  Ethan was proud of me; proud that I was his uncle.  I thought I did such a great job in hiding my role with TANG.  But Ethan wasn’t fooled.  What makes me all teary is that he loved TANG so much, that he was proud of me for leading it.

That just makes my day…and perhaps the entire year.

Graduation

6 years in the making.  I wonder what’s next…

Bamboozled!

Bamboozle 2010 was the first time I paid to go to a major concert.  I’ve been to Rutgersfest and Autumn Blaze but this was something totally different.  The bands I wanted to see included: Relient K, Something Corporate, Paramore, Hey Monday, and last but definitely not least Weezer.  Other groups that were there… Keisha, Angels and Airwaves, OkGo, MGMT, and Drake.  All in all, it was pretty awesome to see all the groups in two days.  But I decided I won’t do it again…too many high schoolers shoving and clawing their way through things.  Next time, I’ll settle for buying a seat and hope for something more civilized.

Ten Things

Rotations are over. 1640 externship hours. Done. One year of rotations went faster than expected. But even more than that, my six years of pharmacy school has finally come to a close. It’s a weird feeling to be done… finally done. Every time a chapter closes in my life, I can’t help but grow a little nostalgic and emotional. It feels like I am almost missing something in my life.

Now, it’s time to look forward. The next chapter in my life is about to begin. So to close this chapter, I will list 10 things I will miss and not miss from this year. Then, no more moping and just looking forward to the future.

Ten things I won’t miss:
10. Getting up at 5AM for 2 weeks
9. Thinking I used to get paid for doing this
8. Sitting in for ridiculously long presentations
7. Waiting for the Match results
6. Hackensack shuttle bus
5. Extra long days in the hospital
4. Traffic because of snow
3. Being sleep deprived constantly
2. Wearing a shirt and tie with a lab coat
1. Projects

Ten things I’ll miss:
10. Free weekends
9. The docs at Kessler
8. Free food from Wynd’s rotation
7. Playing with radiation
6. Snowdays
5. A Vegas trip to remember
4. One hour lunch breaks
3. Sage advice and life lessons from awesome preceptors
2. Hanging out with classmates
1. Being a college student

Not meant to be

Career-wise pharmacy residency has both its pro’s and con’s; none of which seem to really stand out to me. If I didn’t get it, I could still find a nice paying job and have time to do other things. If I got a residency, it would be a great opportunity to learn and lead me away from the world of dispensing. Either way, it was a win-win to me.

Last week, I received the bad news that I was unmatched for a pharmacy residency. To be honest, it was expected. After all was said and done, I applied to 7 programs and only interviewed at one after being invited out for two. Although my expectations were aligned correctly with reality, it wasn’t enough to brace me from the oncoming disappointment. Close to 3,000 people applied to residency programs around the nation and about 1,750 were matched. That left about 100 program spots leftover with 1,000 people still looking. Over the next several days, I had a big decision to make: continue applying for a residency or begin the job search. I found myself conflicted. A part of me didn’t want to give up despite the daunting odds while the other part of me wanted to cope and move on.

After a little bit of soul searching, I decided to settle with my fate and started applying to hospital positions in New Jersey. I didn’t expect to feel so hurt by not getting a residency. I didn’t realize what it meant to me. I am not used to failure or not getting something I want. I’ve always worked hard and for the most part, it was enough. In the face of failure, I wanted to prove them wrong. But that’s not the reason to do a residency. Pride and ego are both terrible reasons to do anything. It just ends up making you do things you don’t want to do.

In my heart of hearts, I know residency isn’t for me just yet. I may be smart enough and dedicated enough professionally to get through a residency, but I don’t have the love and respect that it requires for the pharmacy profession. And I’m fine with that. I can move on.

In the Middle of Nowhere

Last week, I received my one and only onsite interview thus far for a pharmacy practice residency program. I told them I would need a week to get my schedule and thoughts in order. On paper, the program was solid and had everything I was looking for. The only problem? It’s in the middle of Wisconsin.

The area of Marshfield, Wisconsin was voted as one of the best places to live and raise a family. But has a little less than 20,000 people living there (compared to my hometown of Wayne’s 50,000). But it’s okay, I’m a loner anyway; I can survive a year alone. Plus, there are 3 ski resorts within two hours of driving distance and Wisconsin can get up to 50 inches of snow every year. Great for snowboarding but bad for my car. Oh the shoveling (brrr). Most if not all of my friends and family thought I was crazy to move out to the middle of nowhere in the freezing cold. I listened, but the challenges of moving out there didn’t scare me. The positives were outweighing the negatives.

Yet, I was still hesitant. I wasn’t ready to make decision. I couldn’t persuade myself enough to commit a plane ticket to Wisconsin. A part of me didn’t want to go and I couldn’t answer why. If Wisconsin wasn’t a problem for me before, why is it now? Maybe I’m still unsure about the whole residency thing. And the last thing I want is being stuck doing something I don’t want to do alone in the middle of nowhere. Sure, I could survive but I don’t want to survive; I want to live. So I called back and politely declined.

A part of me regrets the decision and maybe in a couple years I will grow to regret it. But for now, I’m won’t blame myself for not forcing myself to go simply because it was an opportunity. I will only go on an interview if I intend on going there. No false hopes to myself or others and no mixed messages. If I’m not 100% sure, I’m not settling.